Maryland BDSM and Alternative Lifestyle Personals

On 5/30/2004 sensuelle01 said
I was browsing the internet for some bdsm sites and came upon alt.com.It wasn't the first time I had seen this address but something drew me to it yet again. Maybe it was my circumstances, now I had no reason not to look, my relationship of 26 years had ended. The person I had spent more than half my life with, had grown up with from 18 was now over. In my mind was the turmoil of the raw emotions, feelings I could not control. Fears of the unknown were encircling me. I looked at the site. I knew I had a deeply hidden desire to explore the side of me had never been set free. I myself was now free to do such. After all the years of yearning..wondering..desiring, I could now try for real. I found the profile page and began to write. What was I looking for? How do I describe myself? I could finally seek for what had so long been denied me. My head was telling me..be cautious..people like you just don't advertise yourself on an internet site! There are all sorts of weirdo's. What the heck are you doing! Regardless, I filled in my profile space. One thing was going to be different this time. No lies..no deceit..I was going to be front up from the very begining. I wrote my real age..my real body shape..I wrote about the 'real' me..the one had been hidden for so many years. I was so certain I wouldn't receive any interest. Heck...must be heaps of sexy slim females out there true Dominants would rather have. What chance would a cuddly, mature(sometimes that is debatable)professional woman have? I always thought I dressed well....actually had been told I was attractive a few times..I have seen women alot larger than myself...mmmm...I began thinking. What have I to lose? If I don't like anyone that replies I don't have to do anything about it. Is not like they have my phone number or address. So I completed the form, paid my membership and waited. All the doubts and anxieties went through my head then I checked my e-mail. Good god!..there were five replies! I quickly skimmed down the list and chose the first one to read. Escatonic was His name. Good He had pictures. First I read His profile and just sat unbelieving what I had read. The words leaping out at me from the page were the very things I had only dreamed of finding in a Man. This was absurd! This was the first e-mail I had read and here was someone..saying..looking for the same things I also was.He was describing the real me..the one deep down that I could now unlock. I looked over the photo's. He had a gentle kind face but was also something strong and dominant about His stance..His look. I looked at those pictures a long long time then I replied. After a few hours I had a reply. My heart was thumping in my chest as I read it. This was silly I said to myself. For goodness sake...is just an e-mail! I had sent a long one explaining everything about myself..my long time relationship now over..my thoughts my fears my needs. He also had come from a long term relationship, so similiar to myself. Our ages close, He four years older than myself. I wrote back, He responded. This was just not happening. Couldn't happen so soon. Something had to go wrong. We continued e-mailing, daily if not two three times a day. Then I found Him by chance in a chat room. Immediately we went to private chat. A couple of weeks and I finally got the courage to ring Him. There He was..the voice on the end of the phone. My heart was leaping all over the place..my hands shaking..mouth dry. For goodness sake I told myself...You both are in your 40's get a grip woman! After the first phonecall there were many more. Not a day went by without e-mails..text messsages and phonecalls lasting hours into the night and early morning. This was like being a teenager all over again! We knew so much about each other. I told this Man things I had never told anyone not even my best friends. He knew so much about me..my thoughts..my hopes..my needs. I had never spoken to a Male like I did with Him so easily. A few weeks later we arranged to meet. The hotel was booked, time arranged. That morning it took three times as long to put on my makeup, do my hair just right, shave places I usually didn't spend too much time on but that was about to change now. I dressed in something smart but showed my clevage to it's best without being tarty. Hands were shaking. I got out of the taxi and saw His form by the door. We smiled...I knew it was going to be ok. Quickly we moved from prying eyes and took the lift to our room. The door barely shut as He took me in His arms and kissed me over and over...His hands running under my shirt and feeling every inch of me. That day I took my first steps towards being His submissive. Yesterday I returned from a glorious three days, totally together in His hometown. I had been sitting in the train approaching His station..thinking...oh gods..what if He has changed His mind? what if He has forgotten what I look like? what if He has changed His mind? doubts and fears running amuck. The loudspeaker announced 'the train is now approaching the station'.. I stood up...placed my handbag over my shoulder and grabbed the overnight case from the seat. Taking a deep breath to try and calm my breathing I stepped off the train...placing my case to the platform and tugging on the handle. I looked up and saw several people down further...I started to walk slowly..eyes roaming to find Him. This Man all in black started walking towards me..my heart leapt! Gods He looked so good..the leather jacket shining in the sun that had magically appeared as I had stepped off the train...the gap lessening...I remember a huge smile...my eyes locked to His..seeing nothing but Him approaching...then letting go of my bag as His arms wrapped around me..kissing passionately...devouring each others lips..I don't know how long we stood like that but I wanted to be nowhere else..ever. A snickering guard looked at my ticket as we went through the doors...He with my overnight bag..our hands pressed tight into each other. Stopping to kiss every few steps. At His hands I am learning what it is to be owned. To bear pain I thought would not be possible. To reach heights I never knew exisited. To see that look in His eyes as He walks around the bed looking over my naked bound breasts..deciding where to leave His mark with the flogger..my inner thighs...breasts..clit...where ever He wishes and I reply 'Thank You Master..please may I have another'. I have fallen in love with this Man. We are making plans for our future together. Everything is based on honesty and trust it can be no other way. He has pronounced Himself as my Master and I His slave. I cannot imagine being without Him now and have so much to look forward to. He completes me..He owns me..He teaches me things I never thought I could do. We are both professional people, have tried many times to analyse and make sense of all this ..but...it makes no sense. We both feel like teenagers again...hold hands...kiss in public..and live the life we desire within our bedroom walls when possible. Thank You alt.com for giving me the opportunity to meet the Man I would otherwise not found...Our journey has now begun..the destination to be yet found. Thank You my Master for wanting to own me. Love always Your slave. XX.

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